Have you ever been doing something, an activity that you often do when you notice a subconscious behavior creeping in?

When one part of your brain notices something that another part of your brain has already acknowledged?

That happened to me recently, when in the middle of a graphic recording session, I noticed something - my marker had slowed to a crawl. Someone had just said something I sincerely disagreed with, and part of me didn’t want to write it down or draw it.

At that moment, I almost slipped into a really bad habit. Heard some things that weren’t “jiving” with me, and my default setting was wanting to change somebody’s mind.

Wanted to stop the session and say, “Hold on, wait a sec! Let’s talk about this.”

That’s the exact moment I’m worst at my job. What do I mean?

I mean that my job in that room is to hold space. For every topic and idea.

I have one rule when I’m drawing in a room: write down every word, thought, and meaning conveyed as fast as I can. Especially the ones I disagree with.

If they said it, I draw it. If they don’t say it, I don’t draw it.

That can be uncomfortable. I have to stay well aware of my own biases and my own upbringing so that I don’t shape the sheet, or the room.

And when I catch myself getting judgmental about the people in front of me, I try to flip it. Thank God I’m in that room to help them wrestle.

It used to be my job to report

When I was in the classroom, I used to teach from textbooks.

Then with the military, it was writing reports based on gathered intelligence.

Then I wrote red team papers, rearranging the facts to offer different outcomes, to change people’s minds.

Back then, I used to say you can’t red team with strangers, because you’re not going to change a stranger’s mind. (Red teaming is poking holes in a plan before someone else does it for you.)

These days, there’s really no place I go where I’m not an outsider. Nearly every room I draw in is full of strangers.

Now I draw in sessions where people need to take in large amounts of information to wrap their minds around a topic they may or may not agree with.

And all the while, how I feel doesn’t matter.

I’ve drawn four miles’ worth of sheets. (Yes, those four miles.) How I felt while writing during those sessions doesn’t matter much. What matters is that I put the information in a format people can look at, so they can hopefully do something significant with it.

Think about the last tough conversation you had at work. Now try to remember it three weeks from now, without any notes.

I’m going to guess that it turns into a three-sentence summary. Either end of the extremes likely are forgotten.

When they’re on the sheet, however, they stay. Almost everything said in the room is right there, and we can wrestle with those topics because we can’t hide from them.

When the people running sessions like my recent one started looking at their sheet, they had a lot of “oh” moments. Moments to ponder.

Most difficult topics don’t have a beginning, middle, or end that hands you an obvious solution. What you can do is get the reps in, gather the right minds, and show you’ve actually considered it.

So I’m going to stop worrying about changing somebody’s mind, and start focusing on how much I’ve given them to consider.

Next time you’re in a room and someone says something you don’t agree with, notice what your pen does.

If it slows down, keep writing.

Grateful you are here,

Wade

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